A simple friend, when visiting, acts like a guest.
A real friend opens your refrigerator and helps himself.
A simple friend has never seen you cry.
A real friend has shoulders soggy from your tears.
A simple friend doesn't know your parents' first names.
A simple friend brings a bottle of wine to your party.
A real friend comes early to help you cook and stays late to help you clean.
A simple friend hates it when you call after he has gone to bed.
A real friend asks you why you took so long to call.
A simple friend seeks to talk with you about your problems.
A real friend seeks to help you with your problems.
A simple friend wonders about your romantic history.
A real friend could blackmail you with it.
A simple friend thinks the friendship is over when you have an argument.
A real friend calls you after you had a fight.
A simple friend expects you to always be there for them.
A real friend expects to always be there for you!
Are you a simple or real friend???
Children Learn What They Live #6
IF CHILDREN LIVE WITH JEALOUSY,
THEY LEARN TO FEEL ENVY.
Let all your children know how special each of them is to you by helping them to bring out their own unique talents and pursue their own interests.
We can provide our kids with a good example by showing them how to enjoy what we do have rather than longing for what we don't.
What a wonderful message it is to let your child know that you wouldn't want him to be any other kind of person, that you love him just for being himself.
There is no better reason to finally make peace with ourselves and come to terms with our own imperfections than this: that by our own example, we can help our children learn to accept themselves more fully.
Our children are exposed to advertising that stresses the importance of what others own. These messages often confuse having possessions with being loved and accepted. Our kids need our help in sorting out these confusing messages.
The ability to appreciate and enjoy our own blessings can help us deal appropriately with feelings of jealousy or envy.
Avoid labeling your children, even positively – "the smart one," "the athletic one," "the pretty one," and so on. Comparing your children to each other can promote feelings of jealousy and discourage them from becoming the best they can be for themselves.
When parents and children feel good about themselves, jealousy and envy go out the window. Try focusing on your inner sense of yourself rather than comparing yourself to others.
No matter what they say, what our children really want from us more than the newest clothes or the latest toys is our time and attention.
When we value our children, they learn to value themselves. We do this best when we avoid comparisons and showing favoritism.
Sometimes there are deep feelings of loss behind expressions of envy, like, "I wish my Dad was more like Bill's." We need to be able to listen to our children's feelings without getting defensive.
We will be much better off as parents if we cub our competitive feelings and our tendency to compare our kids to our friends' kids. Let's appreciate our children for who they are, and not see them as extensions of ourselves to brag about.
Jealousy and envy can make children feel bad about themselves. Help your kids learn to feel satisfied with what they have.
When a new baby comes along, accept some signs of jealousy as a natural reaction. Make sure to give even older kids special attention at this time.
It's good to nip jealousy in the bud, but not by stifling expression. When you notice your child longing for what others have, talk about it with him.
When they are struggling with feelings of envy, we want to listen to our children express their thoughts and feelings as well as offer them our own perspective.
There will always be people who have more of the things we want, but there will also be those who have less. It's up to us to decide how we make peace with this fact.
We need to recognize and value each child in the family for his or her own unique and special talents. Doing so will help keep jealousy at bay.
Even very young children may become concerned about having the "right" clothes or electronic toys. We have to balance the messages they are getting from advertising and other children by making our own values explicit.
Children Learn What They Live #5
IF CHILDREN LIVE WITH RIDICULE,
THEY LEARN TO FEEL SHY.
A pushy, demanding attitude can actually bring about shyness instead of compliance. When we want our children to participate in an activity, it’s best to be inviting and welcoming.
When a child is able to laugh at herself, let her do it first. Then follow suit, and laugh with her. A big hug can help reassure her that she’s not being ridiculed.
Our children can learn from our example that the world doesn’t come to an end when someone laughs at us or we make a mistake. Show them how to move quickly and smoothly from acknowledging a mistake to correcting it.
Help your child learn to see the difference between laughing at someone and laughing with them. It’s laughing with someone only if everyone is enjoying the laughter.
It is important to always respect our children’s efforts to please us, no matter how misplaced or untimely they may be. When necessary, redirect them, and remember – it’s the spirit of giving that counts!
If we openly accept our own faults and mistakes and try to learn from them, we create a warmer, more relaxed environment for our children.
The ability to laugh at oneself is a sign of maturity, insight, and self-confidence. Provide a positive model for your child by showing him that you don’t always take yourself seriously.
Even if your child really is shy, it’s best not to say so in front of others. For one thing, that kind of attention is very hard for a shy child to bear. And for another, this may be just a phase in her development.
If your child suddenly becomes shy or withdrawn, it’s a signal. Be available to listen and find out what’s bothering him.
Using ridicule as an incentive to energize a child does just the opposite. It deflates her sense of self. Find positive ways to encourage and support your child.
Warmth, encouragement, and affection are the most effective tools for bringing out the best in your child.
Ridicule encourages your child to turn away. Help her get involved with others by creating fun and exciting games that capture her interest. Most children love to play tag or hide-and-seek. Sometimes you can help get things started.
Ridiculing a child in order to gain a desired behavior doesn’t work; it only encourages more shyness and withdrawal.
Ridicule can close the door to communication, leaving your child feeling very much alone. Don’t unintentionally close this door by too much teasing.
Ridicule is a put-down. Build your children up; don’t tear them down.
May kids experience teasing or ridicule at school or in neighborhood. We want our children to know they can always talk to us about this and that we’ll find a way to help them make things better, not worse.
Our children often overhear our offhand comments about others. Then they repeat them. Let’s not ridicule anyone, especially within earshot of our children.
We want our kids to be able to truly relax when they’re home. This means a “zero-tolerance” rule for ridicule or cruelty among siblings.
Sarcasm and ridicule are a devastating combination. Avoid both for your child’s sense of well-being.
Little Eyes Upon You
There are little eyes upon you and they're watching night and day.
There are little ears that quickly take in every word you say.
There are little hands all eager to do anything you do;
And a little boy who's dreaming of the day he'll be like you.
You're the little fellow's idol, you're the wisest of the wise.
In his little mind about you no suspicious ever rise.
He believes in you devoutly, hold all you say and do;
He will say and do, in your way, when he's grown up just like you.
There's a wide-eyed little fellow who believes you're always right;
And his eyes are always opened, and he watches day and night.
You are setting an example everyday in all you do;
For the little boy who's waiting to grow up to be like you.
Author Unknown
There are little ears that quickly take in every word you say.
There are little hands all eager to do anything you do;
And a little boy who's dreaming of the day he'll be like you.
You're the little fellow's idol, you're the wisest of the wise.
In his little mind about you no suspicious ever rise.
He believes in you devoutly, hold all you say and do;
He will say and do, in your way, when he's grown up just like you.
There's a wide-eyed little fellow who believes you're always right;
And his eyes are always opened, and he watches day and night.
You are setting an example everyday in all you do;
For the little boy who's waiting to grow up to be like you.
Author Unknown
Lord, Help me Build a Healthy Child
For it is easier to build a child then to repair an adult.
Help me praise more than criticize, encourage more than nag,
Discipline, not punish, and model good behavior
Rather than simple demand it.
Help me break the habit of automatically saying "no",
When I could just as easily say "yes" and to remember
a hug given before it's asked for is ten times more valuable!
Help me ask myself, "Will this matter in 20 years"
Then enable me to let go of those things that won't,
so I can have the energy for those things that will.
Help me earn their respect as I lead life consistent
with the principles I value. Lord, give me the courage
to teach them right from wrong
and help them discover their own special destinies.
Help me to freely join in their silliness, share in their laughter,
delight in their joys and keep their confidences.
Remind me daily to draw upon your strength
to heal thier wounds and comfort their sorrows.
Most of all, Lord, help me really listen for the hidden thoughts
and needs that often lie behind their requests
and give me the key to their heart
that is may be opened wide to all life's wonders and possibilities.
Author: Audrey Jeanne Roberts
Help me praise more than criticize, encourage more than nag,
Discipline, not punish, and model good behavior
Rather than simple demand it.
Help me break the habit of automatically saying "no",
When I could just as easily say "yes" and to remember
a hug given before it's asked for is ten times more valuable!
Help me ask myself, "Will this matter in 20 years"
Then enable me to let go of those things that won't,
so I can have the energy for those things that will.
Help me earn their respect as I lead life consistent
with the principles I value. Lord, give me the courage
to teach them right from wrong
and help them discover their own special destinies.
Help me to freely join in their silliness, share in their laughter,
delight in their joys and keep their confidences.
Remind me daily to draw upon your strength
to heal thier wounds and comfort their sorrows.
Most of all, Lord, help me really listen for the hidden thoughts
and needs that often lie behind their requests
and give me the key to their heart
that is may be opened wide to all life's wonders and possibilities.
Author: Audrey Jeanne Roberts
Do you need a little washing?
A little girl had been shopping with her Mom at Target. She must have been 6 years old, beautiful face an image of innocence. It was pouring outside. The kind of rain that gushes over the top of rain gutters, so much in a hurry to hit the earth it has no time to flow down the spout. We all stood there under the awning and just inside the door of the Target.
We waited, some patiently, others irritated because nature messed up their hurried day. I am always mesmerized by rainfall I got lost in the sound and sight of the heavens washing away the dirt and dust of the world. Memories of running, splashing so carefree as a child came pouring in as a welcome reprieve from the worries of my day.
The little voice was so sweet as it broke the hypnotic trance we were all caught in, "Mom, let's run through the rain," she said. "What?" Mom asked.
"Let's run through the rain!" She repeated.
"No, honey. We'll wait until it slows down a bit," Mom replied
This young child waited about another minute and repeated, "Mom, let's run through the rain."
"We'll get soaked if we do," Mom said.
"No, we won't, Mom. That's not what you said this morning," the young girl said as she tugged at her Mom's arm.
"This morning? When did I say we could run through the rain and not get wet?"
"Don't you remember? When you were talking to Daddy about his cancer, you said, "If God can get us through this, he can get us through anything!'"
The entire crowd stopped dead silent. I swear you couldn't hear anything but the rain. We all stood silently. No one came or left in the next few minutes. Mom paused and thought for a moment about what she would say. Now some would laugh it off and scold her for being silly. Some might even ignore what was said.. But this was a moment of affirmation in a young child's life. A time when innocent trust can be nurtured so that it will bloom into faith.
"Honey, you are absolutely right. Let's run through the rain. If God let's us get wet, well maybe we just needed washing," Mom said.
Then off they ran. We all stood watching, smiling and laughing as they darted past the cars and yes, through the puddles. They held their shopping bags over their heads just in case. They got soaked. But they were followed by a few who screamed and laughed like children all the way to their cars.
And yes, I did. I ran. I got wet. I needed washing.
Circumstances or people can take away your material possessions, they can take away your money, and they can take away your health. But no one can ever take away your precious memories... So, don't forget to make time and take opportunities to make memories everyday. To everything there is a season and a time to every purpose under heaven.
I HOPE YOU STILL TAKE THE TIME TO RUN THROUGH THE RAIN.
Take the time to live!!!
We waited, some patiently, others irritated because nature messed up their hurried day. I am always mesmerized by rainfall I got lost in the sound and sight of the heavens washing away the dirt and dust of the world. Memories of running, splashing so carefree as a child came pouring in as a welcome reprieve from the worries of my day.
The little voice was so sweet as it broke the hypnotic trance we were all caught in, "Mom, let's run through the rain," she said. "What?" Mom asked.
"Let's run through the rain!" She repeated.
"No, honey. We'll wait until it slows down a bit," Mom replied
This young child waited about another minute and repeated, "Mom, let's run through the rain."
"We'll get soaked if we do," Mom said.
"No, we won't, Mom. That's not what you said this morning," the young girl said as she tugged at her Mom's arm.
"This morning? When did I say we could run through the rain and not get wet?"
"Don't you remember? When you were talking to Daddy about his cancer, you said, "If God can get us through this, he can get us through anything!'"
The entire crowd stopped dead silent. I swear you couldn't hear anything but the rain. We all stood silently. No one came or left in the next few minutes. Mom paused and thought for a moment about what she would say. Now some would laugh it off and scold her for being silly. Some might even ignore what was said.. But this was a moment of affirmation in a young child's life. A time when innocent trust can be nurtured so that it will bloom into faith.
"Honey, you are absolutely right. Let's run through the rain. If God let's us get wet, well maybe we just needed washing," Mom said.
Then off they ran. We all stood watching, smiling and laughing as they darted past the cars and yes, through the puddles. They held their shopping bags over their heads just in case. They got soaked. But they were followed by a few who screamed and laughed like children all the way to their cars.
And yes, I did. I ran. I got wet. I needed washing.
Circumstances or people can take away your material possessions, they can take away your money, and they can take away your health. But no one can ever take away your precious memories... So, don't forget to make time and take opportunities to make memories everyday. To everything there is a season and a time to every purpose under heaven.
I HOPE YOU STILL TAKE THE TIME TO RUN THROUGH THE RAIN.
Take the time to live!!!
Children Learn What They Live #4
IF CHILDREN LIVE WITH PITY,
THEY LEARN TO FEEL SORRY FOR THEMSELVES.
When things aren't going well for your child, don't waste time pitying him. Instead, do everything you can to help him make the situation better.
Our confidence in our children's inner strength will help give them the faith they need to trust in and rely upon themselves. This will guide them along the road from self-pity to self-determination.
Feeling sorry for ourselves does not set a good example for our children. We have to find or create the resources we need to change our attitude.
When a project fails, encourage your child by asking, "How did you want it to turn out? Maybe there's a way I can help you do a better job next time."
We must open our hearts and teach our children to recognize a tragic situation when it occurs - then do what we can to help, and find ways they can help, too.
Disabled or even terminally ill children often teach their parents more about how to live than their parents could ever teach them.
No child needs pity. Encouragement and understanding can inspire your child and give him something to hold on to.
Your kind thoughts and words directed to a truly disabled child are just as important as the helping hand you may offer her.
When your child notices you are not feeling up to par, and says, "I'm sorry, Mommy," and pats you on the shoulder, she is showing empathy.
All of us know what it's like to miss out on an opportunity or to feel regret or disappointment. When things go wrong, help your child review what happened and figure our how she could have made different choice, so she can do better next time.
Keep off the pathway of pity with your children. Instead, take the pathway of determination.
"Poor me" is an isolating feeling. Make a special effort to connect with your child, offering warmth, appreciation, and understanding instead of pity.
Let's face it - nobody is perfect. Sometimes expecting too much too soon from our children can cause them to feel that they don't measure up.
If we hear a child saying "I can't" to often, we may want to explore in what way he needs to feel more empowered.
We want our children to understand that things don't always go the way they want them to. We hope that, rather than feeling sorry for themselves, they'll learn to see this fact of life as a challenge.
The positive outlook of those who live, work, and play with disabilities in their everyday lives can teach all of us a lot about courage, faith and hope.
No matter what the situation, pity is not a helpful attitude. Our children need our support and confidence.
It's vital for us to confront ourselves when we start feeling sorry for ourselves. At these times we need to find the strength and support we need to take positive action instead of wallowing in self-pity.
No matter how difficult things may appear in the moment, as parents we need to always maintain our most optimistic vision of our children. Remember - we are the grown-ups!
Encouragement
"I got two A's" the small boy said.
His voice was filled with glee.
His father very bluntly asked, "Why didn't you get three?"
"Mom I've got the dishes done."
The girl called from the door.
Her mother very calmly said, "Why didn't you sweep the floor?"
"I mowed the grass," the tall boy said, "and put the mower away."
His father asked him with a shrug, "Did you clean off the clay?"
The children in the house next door seem very happy and content.
The same thing happened over there, but this is how it went:
"I got two A's" the small boy said.
His voice was filled with glee.
His father proudly said, "That's great. I'm glad you belong to me."
"Mom I've got the dishes done."
The girl called from the door.
Her mother smiled and softly said, "Each day I love you more."
"I mowed the grass," the tall boy said, "and put the mower away."
His father answered with much joy, "You've made my happy day."
Children deserve a little praise
For tasks they're asked to do.
If you're to lead a happy life,
So much depeends on you.
Author unknown
His voice was filled with glee.
His father very bluntly asked, "Why didn't you get three?"
"Mom I've got the dishes done."
The girl called from the door.
Her mother very calmly said, "Why didn't you sweep the floor?"
"I mowed the grass," the tall boy said, "and put the mower away."
His father asked him with a shrug, "Did you clean off the clay?"
The children in the house next door seem very happy and content.
The same thing happened over there, but this is how it went:
"I got two A's" the small boy said.
His voice was filled with glee.
His father proudly said, "That's great. I'm glad you belong to me."
"Mom I've got the dishes done."
The girl called from the door.
Her mother smiled and softly said, "Each day I love you more."
"I mowed the grass," the tall boy said, "and put the mower away."
His father answered with much joy, "You've made my happy day."
Children deserve a little praise
For tasks they're asked to do.
If you're to lead a happy life,
So much depeends on you.
Author unknown
The Parents' Affirmation of Imperfection
It's perfectly okay for me to be imperfect.
This includes not being a perfect parent.
This means that it's okay that I have already made a lot of mistakes as a parent
and that it's okay that I will make other mistakes in the future.
What's not okay is for me to pretend
that I am perfect and to thereby hide my mistakes from myself.
Instead I will catch my mistakes with a smile rather than a kick
and learn what they have to teach me.
That way, I won't make the same mistakes too often,
and I'll never be a perfect parent and that's okay,
because my goal is excellence, not perfection.
Author unknown
This includes not being a perfect parent.
This means that it's okay that I have already made a lot of mistakes as a parent
and that it's okay that I will make other mistakes in the future.
What's not okay is for me to pretend
that I am perfect and to thereby hide my mistakes from myself.
Instead I will catch my mistakes with a smile rather than a kick
and learn what they have to teach me.
That way, I won't make the same mistakes too often,
and I'll never be a perfect parent and that's okay,
because my goal is excellence, not perfection.
Author unknown
Prescribed by the Great Physician
The next time you feel like GOD can't use you, just remember...
Noah was a drunk
Abraham was too old
Isaac was a daydreamer
Jacob was a liar
Leah was ugly
Joseph was abused
Moses had a stuttering problem
Gideon was afraid
Samson had long hair and was a womanizer
Rahab was a prostitute
Jeremiah and Timothy were too young
David had an affair and was a murderer
Elijah was suicidal
Isaiah preached naked
Jonah ran from God
Naomi was a widow
Job went bankrupt
Peter denied Christ
The Disciples fell asleep while praying
Martha worried about everything
The Samaritan woman was divorced, more than once
Zaccheus was too small
Paul was too religious
Timothy had an ulcer... AND
Lazarus was dead!
Now! No more excuses!
God can use you to your full potential..
Besides you aren't the message, you are just the messenger.
1. God wants spiritual fruit, not religious nuts.
2. Dear God, I have a problem, it's Me.
3. Growing old is inevitable... growing UP is optional.
4. There is no key to happiness. The door is always open.
5. Silence is often misinterpreted but never misquoted.
6. Do the math... count your blessings.
7. Faith is the ability to not panic.
8. Laugh every day, it's like inner jogging.
9. If you worry, you didn't pray. If you pray, don't worry.
10. As a child of God, prayer is kind of like calling home everyday.
11. Blessed are the flexible for they shall not be bent out of shape.
12. The most important things in your house are the people.
13. When we get tangled up in our problems, be still. God wants us to be still so He can untangle the knot.
14. A grudge is a heavy thing to carry.
15. He who dies with the most toys is still dead.
If Tomorrow Starts without Me
"If tomorrow starts without me,
And I'm not there to see,
If the sun should rise and find your eyes
all filled with tears for me;
I wish so much you wouldn't cry
the way you did today,
While thinking of the many things,
We didn't get to say.
I know how much you love me,
As much as I love you,
And each time that you think of me,
I know you'll miss me too;
But when tomorrow starts without me,
Please try to understand,
that an angel came and called my name,
And took me by the hand,
And said my place was ready,
In heaven far above,
And that I'd have to leave behind
all those I dearly love.
But as I turned to walk away,
A tear fell from my eye,
For all my life, I'd always thought,
I didn't want to die.
I had so much to live for,
So much left yet to do,
it seemed almost impossible,
that I was leaving you.
I thought of all the yesterdays,
The good ones and the bad,
I thought of all that we shared,
And all the fun we had.
If I could relive yesterday,
Just even for a while,
I'd say good-bye and kiss you
and maybe see you smile.
But then I fully realized,
That this could never be,
For emptiness and memories,
would take the place of me.
And when I thought of worldly things,
I might miss some tomorrow,
I thought of you, and when I did,
My heart was filled with sorrow.
But when I walked through heaven's gates,
I felt so much at home.
When God looked down and smiled at me,
From His great golden throne,
He said, "This is eternity,
And all I've promised you."
Today your life on earth is past,
but here life starts anew.
I promise no tomorrow,
But today will always last,
and since each day is the same way,
There's no longing for the past.
So when tomorrow starts without me,
don't think we're far apart,
For every time you think of me,
I'm right here, in your heart "
And I'm not there to see,
If the sun should rise and find your eyes
all filled with tears for me;
I wish so much you wouldn't cry
the way you did today,
While thinking of the many things,
We didn't get to say.
I know how much you love me,
As much as I love you,
And each time that you think of me,
I know you'll miss me too;
But when tomorrow starts without me,
Please try to understand,
that an angel came and called my name,
And took me by the hand,
And said my place was ready,
In heaven far above,
And that I'd have to leave behind
all those I dearly love.
But as I turned to walk away,
A tear fell from my eye,
For all my life, I'd always thought,
I didn't want to die.
I had so much to live for,
So much left yet to do,
it seemed almost impossible,
that I was leaving you.
I thought of all the yesterdays,
The good ones and the bad,
I thought of all that we shared,
And all the fun we had.
If I could relive yesterday,
Just even for a while,
I'd say good-bye and kiss you
and maybe see you smile.
But then I fully realized,
That this could never be,
For emptiness and memories,
would take the place of me.
And when I thought of worldly things,
I might miss some tomorrow,
I thought of you, and when I did,
My heart was filled with sorrow.
But when I walked through heaven's gates,
I felt so much at home.
When God looked down and smiled at me,
From His great golden throne,
He said, "This is eternity,
And all I've promised you."
Today your life on earth is past,
but here life starts anew.
I promise no tomorrow,
But today will always last,
and since each day is the same way,
There's no longing for the past.
So when tomorrow starts without me,
don't think we're far apart,
For every time you think of me,
I'm right here, in your heart "
The Rain and Wipers
One rainy afternoon I was driving along one of the main streets of town, taking those extra precautions necessary when the roads are wet and slick. Suddenly, my daughter, Aspen, spoke up from her relaxed position in her seat.
"Dad, I'm thinking of something." This announcement usually meant she had been pondering some fact for a while, and was now ready to expound all that her six-year-old mind had discovered.
I was eager to hear. "What are you thinking?" I asked.
"The rain!" she began, "is like sin, and the windshield wipers are like God wiping our sins away."
After the chill bumps raced up my arms I was able to respond."That's really good, Aspen." Then my curiosity broke in. How far would this little girl take this revelation?
So I asked... "Do you notice how the rain keeps on coming? What does that tell you?" Aspen didn't hesitate one moment with her answer: "We keep on sinning, and God just keeps on forgiving us."
I will always remember this whenever I turn my wipers on.
"Dad, I'm thinking of something." This announcement usually meant she had been pondering some fact for a while, and was now ready to expound all that her six-year-old mind had discovered.
I was eager to hear. "What are you thinking?" I asked.
"The rain!" she began, "is like sin, and the windshield wipers are like God wiping our sins away."
After the chill bumps raced up my arms I was able to respond."That's really good, Aspen." Then my curiosity broke in. How far would this little girl take this revelation?
So I asked... "Do you notice how the rain keeps on coming? What does that tell you?" Aspen didn't hesitate one moment with her answer: "We keep on sinning, and God just keeps on forgiving us."
I will always remember this whenever I turn my wipers on.
Moments in Life
There are moments in life
when you miss someone so much
that you just want to pick them
from your dreams and hug them for real!
When the door of happiness closes, another opens;
but often times we look so long at the closed door
that we don't see the one,
which has been opened for us.
Don't go for looks; they can deceive.
Don't go for wealth; even that fades away.
Go for someone who makes you smile,
because it takes only a smile to
make a dark day seem bright.
Find the one that makes your heart smile.
Dream what you want to dream;
go where you want to go;
be what you want to be,
because you have only one life
and one chance to do all the things
you want to do.
May you have enough happiness to make you sweet,
enough trials to make you strong,
enough sorrow to keep you human and
enough hope to make you happy.
The happiest of people don't necessarily
have the best of everything;
they just make the most of
everything that comes along their way.
The brightest future will always
be based on a forgotten past;
you can't go forward in life until
you let go of your past failures and heartaches.
When you were born, you were crying
and everyone around you was smiling.
Live your life so at the end,
you're the one who is smiling and
everyone around you is crying.
Don't count the years... count the memories!
when you miss someone so much
that you just want to pick them
from your dreams and hug them for real!
When the door of happiness closes, another opens;
but often times we look so long at the closed door
that we don't see the one,
which has been opened for us.
Don't go for looks; they can deceive.
Don't go for wealth; even that fades away.
Go for someone who makes you smile,
because it takes only a smile to
make a dark day seem bright.
Find the one that makes your heart smile.
Dream what you want to dream;
go where you want to go;
be what you want to be,
because you have only one life
and one chance to do all the things
you want to do.
May you have enough happiness to make you sweet,
enough trials to make you strong,
enough sorrow to keep you human and
enough hope to make you happy.
The happiest of people don't necessarily
have the best of everything;
they just make the most of
everything that comes along their way.
The brightest future will always
be based on a forgotten past;
you can't go forward in life until
you let go of your past failures and heartaches.
When you were born, you were crying
and everyone around you was smiling.
Live your life so at the end,
you're the one who is smiling and
everyone around you is crying.
Don't count the years... count the memories!
Children Learn What They Live #3
IF CHILDREN LIVE WITH FEAR,
THEY LEARN TO BE APPREHENSIVE.
Our children learn how to deal with their fears by observing how we deal with ours. They are the best "copycats," so let's give them a constructive example of acknowledging our concerns and findings creative solutions.
Kids don't always tell us when they're having problems. We need to take the time to ask our children how they're getting along with the other kids at school and in the neighborhood.
Fear undermines the supportive environment a child needs in order to grow, explore, and learn, leaving him with a general feeling of apprehension. We need to do what we can to bolster our children's confidence.
Find ways to help our child build confidence and certainty, and then watch her flower!
Our kids get more than enough exposure to frightening things from watching TV or movies. Monitor their viewing to minimize the development of unnecessary fears.
Vague, generalized fears are the hardest to deal with. Help your child explore how he might react in certain specific situations by having him imagine what he could do.
When fear is in the air, hug your child and let him know you are there for him. Warmth and closeness are part of feeling safe.
A fearful child needs patience and love, not a reprimand. This is true for both boys and girls.
Stay close to a fearful child, and evaluate the situation. How realistic is this fear? What approach will be the best one to guide and help her through it? Doing so not only gets her through this situation, it shows her how to calmly face other situations in the future.
One of the biggest fears children have is about losing a parent. In times of serious illness or marital separation, children need plenty of extra reassurance. Stay close and be ready to offer comfort.
Fear produces hesitancy and uncertainty - not a good recipe for being confident. Teach your children how to overcome their natural fears, and turn potentially bad experiences into good ones.
A steady diet of fearfulness leads to a hesitancy to try new things. Give your child the support she needs to be open to learning something new.
When a child is fearful, see if you can help him explore creative ways to deal with the situation. A flashlight in his bed if he's afraid of the dark or a favorite toy in his pocket when he goes off to preschool can help a lot.
Finding out whether your child's fear is realistic or imagined is one way of becoming closer to her. You may be surprised at what you learn when you ask her open-ended questions ("What is it about ___ that scare you?")
Fear does have a purpose - to protect. Help your child learn how to examine and understand her fears - and find a way to use them constructively.
Realistic fear is not to be avoided. Rather, it's an opportunity to gather resources and mobilize courage.
We want our children to be careful, not fearful. Don't use scary movies to warn them of possible dangers. Instead, give them clear instructions about how they can handle threatening situations.
In a new situation, a warm hug can pave the way for a more relaxed approach. Sometimes just knowing we understand how hard it is for them can help our children overcome hurdles.
Let your child know it's okay to feel afraid and that you're there to help him work through his fears. Your confidence that his fears can be overcome helps him find the strength he needs to do so.
When a child conquers fear, he deserves to be congratulated. Don't minimize his accomplishment, or take it for granted.
Children Learn What They Live #2
IF CHILDREN LIVE WITH HOSTILITY,
THEY LEARN TO FIGHT.
It's important to show our children that anger is not an enemy to resist, but an energy to take charge of creatively.
Build your kids us - every chance you get - rather than putting them down. They'll fell better about themselves, and so will you.
Hostility pits children on the defensive. Instead of yelling at them, help them to relax and take a second look at what happened.
If we see our child being too rough with siblings or other kids, we need to make a special effort to understand the situation. Try asking what's going on instead of only prohibiting the unacceptable behavior.
Don't let anger build. Take care of small aggravations before they grow into something big.
If you notice your child having an automatic response of anger, talk it over and ask him if he can find three other ways to feel about the person or situation at hand.
Anger is only one response on our emotional menu. A steady diet of getting angry limits us, creating high levels of tension and blocking communications within the family.
Learning to recognize when we are becoming upset is very important. Anger and hostility build from small irritations and frustrations that are pushed aside or ignored.
Take the time to visualize how you want to see your children relating to one another. Then help them do so by paying attention to what is going on and guiding them through the inevitable ups and downs of each day.
Anger is not a problem solver. It's a problem generator.
We need to accept the fact that our children have the right to feel all their feelings, including anger. It's our job as parents to help them learn how to handle these feelings.
Rather than giving in to our anger, we can listen to our children and try to understand their points of view. It's important to remember we're on the same side - their side!
As we learn how to direct our own emotional responses, it becomes easier to remain in charge of hostile feelings. This is the model we want to present to our children.
In a tense situation, asking ourselves, "How else could I handle this?" before responding or reacting helps to open up a wider range of options.
Our children are likely to face some hostility or aggression in their schools or neighborhoods. We want them to learn how to handle such situations without escalating them.
There will be times when our children will get really angry with us. We need to listen to them carefully and, if needed, apologize for any mistakes we've made.
Remember that our children are watching the way we handle disagreements and disappointments in our relationships. We want to give them an example of effective communication and resolution of our differences.
Frustration builds more easily when parents and children are tired and hungry. Plan meals and nap times carefully, and try to maintain them as best you can.
Our children can teach us a lot about how to forgive and let go of anger and hurt. Often they get over arguments more quickly than we do.
When hostility takes over, our reactions can easily escalate beyond what we originally intended. Sometimes parents need a "time-out" too - a few minutes to calm down and pull themselves together.
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