Children Learn What They Live #19

~ by Dorothy Law Nolte ~


A friendly home environment is one in which children's efforts are encouraged, recognized, and praised; where their mistakes, shortcomings, and individual differences are tolerated; and where they are treated fairly, with patience, understanding, and consideration.

Friendliness creates more friendliness – it helps make new friends and strengthen old friendships. Start your kids off right by showing them how to be a good friend.

Taking an interest in community projects can be a family affair. Getting together to give clothing and food to the needy helps to stimulate in our children a spirit of concern for the good of others.

A family atmosphere that is lighthearted and friendly surrounds all who enter the home with a welcoming glow. It's not always easy to maintain that glow, but it's one of the most important things we can try to do as parents.

It is what we actually do with our children that count, much more than what we say, or even what we believe. Our behavior leaves an imprint on our children and the generations that follow.

Our children witness and absorb the way we live together day to day, and what they learn serves as model for them their whole lives. This will affect not only them, but their children, too.

Often, grandparents have more quality time to give to their grandchildren than they had for their own children. Let them give it! And appreciate them for it.

Let's expect the best of our children – and, in fact, of all children. The kids down the street, across town, and far away. Let's do all we can to make it easy for them to do their best.

Family celebrations give our children a chance to see us as people, not just as parents, by revealing us in a new and different light – dancing into the night, telling jokes, playing games, having fun with our friends.

The family is your child's first exposure to the world. Create a family tone that is harmonious with your highest aspirations for your child and seek to maintain it as best you can.

Close connections with family and friends outside the nuclear family open up our children’s world. Find ways to foster these relationships for your child.

Friends of the family can provide invaluable outreach and support during stressful times. Be sure to nurture your own friendships as well as your children's, so that you will have someone to turn to when you need help.

It's important to be friendly and stay in touch with the parents of our children's friends. It's one good way of keeping the lines of communication open, and it offers a valuable window into our children’s world.

We know the world is not always such a nice place in which to live, but it is our home. How can we, our children, and our children's children make the world a better place for all of us?

We want our children to be able to embark on their path into the world with an attitude of friendliness and positive expectations, each finding her own unique and special way to contribute to the greater good.

Each of our children has the potential to be an instrument for positive changes in the world. Help them find small and concrete ways to do so, from an early age.

Family gatherings are a time for ritual, when our cultural and ethnic traditions are celebrated and we tell stories about the past. Our children love to hear about our own childhood escapades.

Family gatherings give our children a way of understanding the passage of time and the fact that they are growing up. It's fun for them to look at the photos taken at these times, and to see how they’ve changed from year to year.

An extended network of loving adults can help create a richer world for our children. Find ways to keep this network alive and well by being a good neighbor, a concerned friend, and involved member of your own extended family.

Children Learn What They Live #18

~ by Dorothy Law Nolte ~


Our children learn to trust when we do what we say we're going to do in a predictable and dependable way.

Children who have feelings of insecurity may also fell uncared for or alone. We need to be alert to the extra care and attention they may need from us at those times.

Our children's faith in themselves will enable them to fall in love, make meaningful commitments to others, and build families of their own one day.

Children trust their parents whether or not that trust is deserved. Let's make sure we live up to their trust.

Our children's belief in themselves will guide their career choices, enabling them to take risks, handle responsibility, and trust their own decisions.

We want our children to internalize a feeling of security – to have genuine faith in themselves and in what they can do. The only way they can have this faith in themselves is if we have faith in them first.

We want our children to feel secure enough to be able to enjoy the awe, mystery, and wonder of the universe.

Our goal is to be able to send our children into the world each day with expectations that they will do good work and choose right actions.

We must earn our children's trust by being predictable and accountable, day in and day out. This requires our commitment and vigilance, in big matters and small.

We want our children to have positive expectations of other people, yet recognize when the behavior of others is unacceptable. We also want them to have the inner security to set limits and stand up for what’s right when they, or others, are being challenged.

Our children need to know that we are on their side, available to support them regardless of what the situation is. We can show them this is how we truly feel by the way we respond to minor nuisances – a broken vase, spilled milk, a wet bed.

Families define faith in many different ways, but a basic faith in the goodness of humankind is essential to be able to face life with hope and optimism.

The family is the child’s "home base" – a haven of security and safety. We want our children to know they can rely on us, that we will always be there for them, even as they venture out into the world.

We need to have enough faith in our children to allow them to fall down and get up, make mistakes and learn from them, fail and try again. These lessons are invaluable in helping them to develop a sense of inner security.

We need to take our promises to our children very seriously. They don't forget them, and neither should we.

When children feel safe, protected, and cared about, they are secure. Don’t be afraid to ask them every once in a while how they're doing. They may need to be asked.

When our children trust us, to be responsive to them, to consider their feelings, and to always care for them, they develop a strong sense of security and faith in human relationships.

An inner sense of security and faith in oneself is part of a child's psychological foundation. It's essential for her success and happiness in life.

When we believe in our children – that they will have the inner strength to handle life's challenges, the resilience to recover from disappointments, and the courage to love – they will have the faith in themselves that they need to live a full life.

Thoughts to ponder #2

Many people will walk in and out of your life.
But only true friends will leave footprints in your heart.
To handle yourself, use your head;
To handle others, use your heart.


Great minds discuss ideas;
Average minds discuss events;
Small minds discuss people.

Children Learn What They Live #17

~ by Dorothy Law Nolte ~


If children don't master the essential skills for respecting their friends while they are growing up, life will be far more difficult for them than it has to be.

We can let our children know what we expect of them in a way that is still respectful of them and their feelings. "I know you'll do the right thing" is a better way of stating our expectations than "Don't embarrass me." Showing thoughtfulness in our daily activities created plenty of opportunities to teach our children how to respect others.

Children notice the way we care for our possessions. When clothes are piled on the floor or tools are left our in the yard, they see it. And they walk in our footsteps.

No matter what we tell our children about how to behave, the way we treat each other and the way we treat them is the strongest message they receive.

Children have a right to their own personal privacy. They should be taught this, just as they are taught to respect the privacy of others.

It's a mistake to demand or try to force our children to treat us with respect. If we treat them with kindness and respect, they are more likely to treat us the same way.

Even the smallest gestures of attentiveness and concern that pass between Mom and Dad are noticed by our children, and become their model for how to treat loved ones.

We can express our respect for others by being kind and considerate in what we say as well as in the way we say it.

The "me first" kid needs to slow down and learn to see someone else's point of view. We can help him do so, with patience and kindness.

Plants die when they are ignored and not cared for. We should make the effort to show consideration for all living things.

An atmosphere of kindness, consideration, and tolerance for individual differences within the family will prepare our children to respect the rights and needs of others, no matter how different they are.

Children notice the way their parents speak to each other, the ways to resolve disagreements, how they communicate with each other in clearing up understandings, and how they responds to each other’s needs.

Children can practice kindness by helping to care for household pets and learning to consider their needs.

Give your child every opportunity to express kindness and thoughtfulness – and notice and praise him when he does.

As our children move into the larger world and honor others out of a basic respect for individual worth and dignity, they can expect to be so honored in return.

Taking care of our home and everything in it provides a golden opportunity to exercise respect and caring. Once again, our example sets the stage for the best learning.

Acting respectfully is not necessarily the same as having a genuine inner feeling of respect toward another. It is the latter that we want to encourage in our children.

Teaching respect for our own bodies' need for food, rest, and exercise is another way of teaching kindness and consideration. Emphasize a balanced life for your family.

Children Learn What They Live #16

~ by Dorothy Law Nolte ~


Our children's sense of fairness begins with small things. If we are respectful in handling their concerns about being treated fairly, they will have the foundation they need to extend the same kind of respect to others.

In order for our children to learn that they can speak up in the face of what they consider to be injustice in the world, they need to practice expressing their feelings with us.

We need to take our children's feelings seriously and respect their right to express themselves openly so they don't fall into a pattern of resentful acquiescence that could be damaging to our relationships.

Be clear in your communications. And when your child has disobeyed you, consider the possibility that there has been a misunderstanding or misinterpretation of your directions. Check in with her point of view first.

Many kids don't tell their parents everything about their experiences outside the home. We can only hope that what they learn in the family will guide their actions out in the world.

It's inevitable that our children will witness and experience injustice in their lives. If they have had some practice and success in standing up for what's right in their own home, they will be more able to advocate for injustice in the world.

It's almost impossible to be fair all the time in a large family. And since fairness is subjective, everyone may not always agree. Do your best, knowing that things won't always be perfect.

We all know it's not easy to be fair, and each person has a different idea of what is fair in any situation. Take the time to talk things through as a family so each child can understand the other points of view.

If we listen to and respect our children's protests about what they see as unfair in the family, they will learn that they can help change things for the better.

Fairness in everyday happenings in the household lays a solid foundation for the larger concept of justice in the world.

Expecting perfection or holding unreasonably high standards for our children is just plain unfair. We may need to work at accepting our children's limits, but that's our problem, not theirs.

Children take the unfairness in the world to heart, especially when they see or hear about other children who may be suffering. Help your children find ways that they can take action that will make a difference, and teach them that together we can work toward justice for all.

We can't expect our kids to understand the whole concept of justice until at least adolescence. Our own examples of being fair and just will help build their understanding.

The news headlines are filled with examples of injustice. Take the opportunity to discuss current events with your children to help them begin to understand how the world works, as well as how they can help make it better.

Be sure to respect and take seriously your children's sense of fairness. They have an innocence and idealism that we don't want to lose.

Your children will experience plenty of examples of unfairness in school, in sports, on the playground, and in the community. These experiences will help them learn that sometimes life isn't fair. They need our help in understanding this fact of life and learning how to deal with it.

Look for opportunities to acknowledge your child's sense of fairness and concerns about justice. These are the foundations for his developing sense of ethics.

When you see an example of someone exercising fairness, point it our to your child. Even if it's just kids taking turns, it's still an example of respecting the right of other people.

Find ways to spend special time alone with each of your children. It's a great way of letting them know you value each of them, each in his or her own way.

Why Go To Church?

If you're spiritually alive, you're going to love this! If you're spiritually dead, you won't want to read it. If you're spiritually curious, there is still hope!

Why Go To Church?

A Church goer wrote a letter to the editor of a newspaper and complained that it made no sense to go to church every Sunday. "I've gone for 30 years now," he wrote, "and in that time I have heard something like 3,000 sermons. But for the life of me, I can't remember a single one of them. So, I think I'm wasting my time and the pastors are wasting theirs by giving sermons at all."

This started a real controversy in the "Letters to the Editor" column, much to the delight of the editor. It went on for weeks until someone wrote this clincher:

"I've been married for 30 years now. In that time my wife has cooked some 32,000 meals. But, for the life of me, I cannot recall the entire menu for a single one of those meals. But I do know this.. They all nourished me and gave me the strength I needed to do my work. If my wife had not given me these meals, I would be physically dead today. Likewise, if I had not gone to church for nourishment, I would be spiritually dead today!"

When you are DOWN to nothing..... God is UP to something! Faith sees the invisible, believes the incredible and receives the impossible! Thank God for our physical AND our spiritual nourishment!

All right, now that you're done reading, send it on! I think everyone should read this! When Satan is knocking at your door, simply say, "Jesus, could you get that for me?"

Caller ID

On a Saturday night several weeks ago, this pastor was working late, and decided to call his wife before he left for home.

It was about 10:00 PM, but his wife didn't answer the phone. The pastor let the phone ring many times. He thought it was odd that she didn't answer, but decided to wrap up a few things and try again in a few minutes.

When he tried again she answered right away. He asked her why she hadn't answered before, and she said that it hadn't rung at their house. They brushed it off as a fluke and went on their merry ways.

The following Monday, the pastor received a call at the church office, which was the phone that he'd used that Saturday night. The man that he spoke with wanted to know why he'd called on Saturday night. The pastor couldn't figure out what the man was talking about.

Then the man said, "It rang and rang, but I didn't answer."

The pastor remembered the mishap and apologized for disturbing him, explaining that he'd intended to call his wife. The man said, "That's, OK. Let me tell you my story. You see, I was planning to commit suicide on Saturday night, but before I did, I prayed, 'God if you're there, and you don't want me to do this, give me a sign now.' At that point my phone started to ring. I looked at the caller ID, and it said, 'Almighty God'. I was afraid to answer!"

The reason why it showed on the man's caller ID that the call came from "Almighty God" is because the church that the pastor attends is called Almighty God Tabernacle!!

Anniversary Celebration

Happy 46th Wedding Anniversary to my parents!

Parents are special people,
that guide you through the years.
They comfort you when you are sick,
when you cry they dry your tears.
They listen to all your problems,
even when they have problems of their own.
Parents are always for you,
when you're young and when you're grown.
If I had to find the perfect parents,
I wouldn't have to go very far.
Because you could not be more perfect,
than you already are.
And when it comes to love...
Yours out shines the rest.
So here's to you Mama and Papa.
You are the best.

~ by Vicki Rogers ~