IF CHILDREN LIVE WITH SHARING,
THEY LEARN GENEROSITY.
Generosity is a spontaneous response to someone's need. It may involve sacrifice or inconvenience, but we don't set it as a loss. Surely, this describes a major aspect of what we do as parents.
True generosity implies an openhearted willingness to give freely, without thought of personal gain or reward.
As parents, we can get bogged down in day-to-day business. We need to keep a long-range perspective on how quickly our children will grow up. We want to be there for them as much as we possibly can.
Deliberately withholding time and energy from our children can create feelings of distress. We need to be there for them.
Our children need us just as much when they are teenagers as they did when they were toddlers, though in a very different ways. Sharing our time with our children means we need to be flexible and adjust our schedules as their needs change and evolve.
Very young children are not developmentally ready to share. They certainly don't want to share their favorite blankets or stuffed animals, and they shouldn't be asked to do so.
Even if it's only a bit of food or toy, when a small child spontaneously reaches out, saying "Here," she is showing true generosity.
We can share more than just material things. We can also share our patience, understanding, help, friendship, closeness, and affection with others.
The best kind of giving is giving with no strings attached. Be careful not to give your child the impression that gifts are always rewards. Help him understand that there is pleasure in the pure act of giving.
Help your child understand that giving while expecting to get something in return is not real sharing.
When a new baby arrives, the other children have to share their parents and their home with a tiny, extremely demanding stranger. It's important to give them extra attention and support at this time.
Taking turns is a form of sharing with playmates and one of the hardest lessons for preschoolers to learn. Our patient persistence in guiding them is important.
True generosity means reaching out, free of conditions and qualifications, and giving openly and freely.
When our children start appreciating and complimenting us on what we've given them, we can rest assured that they're on their way to understanding what generosity truly is.
The child who is unable to share will have fewer friends. It's in our children's best interest that we help them develop the ability to share.
We would be wise to spend generous amounts of times with our children from the very beginning. This is easier said than done, but if we wait too long we may miss our children's growing up altogether.
If it is genuine, sharing needs to come from within the child. Forced sharing is not really sharing.
Eating together family-style is a wonderful, warm experience. And cheerfully setting an extra place for an unexpected guest offers a valuable lesson in sharing.
Being generous with our children is not just about sharing things. It's about sharing our time, energy, interest, and attention – about sharing ourselves.
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